Delightful Wife

1) “I was kidding about being sterile, you know.”
2) “Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?”
3) “How come it’s so BIG in there?”
4) “You’ve done this with a lotta guys before—right?”
5) “Next time I come over, don’t bother with the
underwear,…OK?”
6) (Sniff, sniff) “Is that CAT food?”
7) (Yelling) “OK guys, it’s a wrap, cut, and print it!!”
“You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!”
9) “My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better.”
10) “Do you know what a ‘douche’ is?”
11) “Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow.”
12) “I want you to try some of MY deodorant.”
13) “I’m not into relationships. Can’t we just screw, like every Tuesday night or something?”
14) “Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!”
15) “I never saw a girl with hairy tits before!”
16) “I’ve been getting these little blisters lately….”
17) “You wanna do those dishes before you leave?”
18) “You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in there!”

USA Olympic Volleyball

You cant motorboat a personality.

We have all been there and done that.  I hope she enjoyed the night.

Trying to disprove the saying “You can’t take it with you,” a stingy old lawyer, diagnosed with a terminal illness, finally figured out how to take at least some of his fortune with him when he died.
 
  He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then told her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. When he passed away, he planned to reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.
 
  Several weeks after the funeral, his wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.
 
  “Oh, that old fool!” she exclaimed. “I knew I should have put the money in the basement.”

Banned from Kmart